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The Trouble with Games

The funnestestest game of all.


“Daddy, can I have that game? I will give you a cuddle if you do!”

‘That game’ was moved to the highest point of my bookshelf a few days ago after an unfortunate mistake by him resulted in an little boy getting very angry with his parents for not playing his way.

“What answer did I give you the last twenty billion times you asked?” 

Long pause.

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

Sigh. This is getting ridiculous. Yes, I really should put it out right out of sight and out of his mind. He is starting to drive me out of my mind! 

“What do you think my answer will be?” (#facepalm. That was a dumb question.)

“YES!”

“You are about to be very disappointed.”

“Dis…dissa…poin…ted?”

“Very sad.”

“Awwww!”

(30 seconds later)

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

“Nope.” 

By this time, I am typing this post whilst responding to him. Lots of copy, paste, paste, paste, ad infinitum…

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

“Nope.” 

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

“Nope.” 

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

“Nope.” 

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

“Nope.” 

I, seriously, could go on. Wait, he’s changed the question. 

“Daddy, could you lift me about this high?” Raises hand, I perceive he has it in line with his eyes and top of shelf. Sigh. Going to draw his bluff, yet fool him. 

I wil let you know how ‘this game’ turns out. Cute kid is now cuddling me from behind. Still not getting the game. At least not right now.


Parents will testify. What would you have done?

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Xmas on Twitter

My boys get mentioned on Twitter a lot, mostly in jest, occasionally in exasperation, yet mostly because of their hilarious antics.

Here are all their Xmas moments throughout December 2016:

Sigh. I am sure there will be more before NYE. Watch out for them on my twitter.

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Six Parenting Lessons

Five lessons learned from Jai in one morning:

Don't Sweat the Small Baby Stuff

Whoever said this never encountered a lost pacifier at naptime!

1. When he hands you one end of a skipping rope, put it to your ear. Because he wants to talk to you.

2. If you can see one yoghurt blob on the floor, there will be more.

3. Kids also cry when they are happy. Yes, astonishing – yet beautiful. Sometimes it is a ruse to get me to hug him – which I like!

4. His vocabulary is awesome. They know and use the words ‘beautiful, hangry and mummy’ regularly. Sometimes in the same sentence.

5. Never assume they are not listening. Never think they don’t understand. They will use your words against you as soon as possible. I am currently in the naughty corner. Thankfully I get to hold my phone. Oh dear, this may set a precedent. Putting down the phone now…

Postscript:
Kids need everything explained to them. Don’t fob them off with an excuse. Jai now understands that CDs and DVDs are engraved plastic with information preserved in them. If that surface gets damaged, the information leaks out. So now he won’t take them out of the cover and carry them round in a shopping bag. Sigh.

PPS. The image links to our new GoFundMe campaign. Please take a moment to take a look.

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Rewards for Effort

Little Hand Not all conversations with #MisterFourGoingOnFourteen are intelligent, smart, funny or entertaining. So it is with disdain that I share these two stories. Yet I hope another Daddy can learn from it. Or at least empathize.

1.

So Small, So CuteDaddy: “My new crutch. Please may I have it back?” It’s for my current yet ongoing knee problems.
Jai: “Nope”. He walks around with it, wielding it like a sabre.
Daddy: “Please don’t point that at people, particularly mummy and daddy!”
Jai ignores me. I hobble around the house, trying to catch up with him. I can walk, but not for long. My right knee hurts like hell.
Daddy: “Please do NOT hit the windows. Don’t hit your brother. Don’t hit the back of my legs. PLEASE do NOT do that again!”
Jai looks at me, then looks away – and taps his brother on the shoulder. No pain, but scares Aidan. He toddles off to find mummy. Smart kid, he leaves the scene of the crime.
Daddy: “Ok, that’s IT! Time-Out for You!” I reach frantically for boy, but fumble on his shirt.
Jai dumps crutch and runs. I pick it up, and resume walking better. Jai gets away with it this time, but not for long…

2.

Set of FourJai (moments after I regain control with arm-crutch): “I want Shaun the Sheep!”
Daddy: “You have to clean the messy lounge room first.”
Jai: “It’s a mess?”
Daddy: “Yes. Your toys do NOT belong on the floor. You know where they belong.”
Jai: “I don’t see it.” Sigh. Plays skip-rope with mummy’s tape-measure.
Daddy: Sigh. “Take another look. Tell me what you see.”
Jai: “Trucks! Animals! Balloons! Books!”
Daddy: “Good. I will clean up Aidan’s, you do yours, we will meet in the middle.”
Jai: “The where?”
Daddy: “Start cleaning up. I’ll tell you when we get there.”
Jai: Intrigued now. “OK.”
Oh my days, he actually cleaned up.
Daddy: “High five dude!”
Jai raises hands and wipes Pluto into the next galaxy. Oh my hand.

It’s fun, but only after he starts listening – and realises there is a reward for his effort.

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Ghosts in the Bedroom

Jai, now almost four, has learned words such as “ghost“, “family time“, and phrases like “Do it for me Daddy!”, so is becoming very articulate with an extensive vocabulary!

Ghost Stories for Kids: Ten Fantastic Tales about Ghosts for ChildrenSo getting him to bed is quite a conversation.

Daddy: “It’s 7.30pm…”
Jai: “Noooooo, I want more family time!”
Daddy: “It’s BED time, buddy, specifically yours.”
Jai: “Noooooooo, there are dark ghosts in there!”
Daddy: “Dark ghosts? In your dark bedroom? How do you spot them?”
Jai: “I just know.”
Daddy: “Let’s go check for them, together. If there are none, you go to bed, deal?”
Jai: “Noooooo, you do it for me Daddy!”

Sigh. Kids. Got to love ’em.

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Negotiation Skills

Octonauts: Amazon Adventure Jai received a new Octonaaaauuuuuts DVD today. 

Whilst he slept on me for two hours this afternoon, Sarah and I enjoyed watching news and programs suitable for OUR age group.

Within moments of waking up, he asked: “I want Octonauts!” Yeah, that is a demand.

“No buddy, Octonauts are NOT for mornings.”

“I would like Octonauts … Pleeeeeeeeeease!” He is clever.

Mummy pipes in “I’d like Shaun the Sheep.” Hmmm, so would I.

“Okay, let’s compromise … two Octonauts episodes and two Shaun the sheep, then back to normal viewing.”

Ten Little Dinosaurs (Ten Little) “I want four Octonauts!” No guessing who said that.

“Buddy, how about {with ONLY three fingers in air} one, two, three episodes?”

Mr oh-so-clever was to quick to respond “I want one two FOUR!!”

And then the negotiations broke down into tears. No, not me, him. Sigh.

OCTONAAAAUUUUUTS!