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Daddy, The Orator

The boys and I watched ‘Monsters vs Aliens‘. Now before you start, the younger boy, Aidan, loves his scary movies. 6yo Jai, not so much. Yet we watched it.

Tonight, about 15mins after bedtime, Jai yells out “This is why I shouldn’t watch scary movies – I am having a nightmare!” We discuss this for a while before he relents when I suggest I tell him a bed-time story.

“Wait, wait, Daddy! I want it be about Dragon Ball Z.” He managed to catch a few episodes a few days ago – and now he is addicted. I’d really like it not to be one of his regular viewings, but I fear we may be a tad too late. So I relent.

“Dude, name two main characters and tell me what they do…”
“Um… Gogan… and the bad guy?” [During writing of this I discover he means Gohan. But I cannot change]
“What do they do together?”
“They FIGHT!”
“O…k… I can do this. I got a story.” I am pretty good at this. Out of thin air…


One day Gogan and the bad guy met in a forest. Gogan stabbed his specter into the ground and cried “I LOVE COFFEE!”
The bad guy slammed his hand into his head and screamed “NO MORE COFFEE IN THESE STORIES!”
Gogan wasn’t going to let the bad guy change the writers decision on the direction of this story. “NO, I WANT MORE COFFEE!!!”
The bad guy sighed long and hard, staring deep into Gogan’s eyes. Gogan stared back, not sighing. The bad guy suddenly thrust forward with his fists and grabbed Gogan’s shirt… “OK. But where?”
Gogan smiled and grabbed the bad guy’s wrists, twisting them outward, bending back his wrists, forcing the bad guy to kneel before him… “WE GO TO CHOCOLART!”
“Where is this place you speak of?”
Gogan rolled his eyes. “You don’t know it? It’s where Daddy… I mean the Orator spends his days when not wor… worri…. wandering the dead lands seeking new menaces to fight and conquer!”
The bad guy was concerned now. “The Orater? Who is he?”
Gogan rolled his eyes. “Surely you know! See the boy lying on the bed? And sitting beside him… that is the Orator! He gives us life, he is the Emperor of these lands, he controls the very blood coursing thru our veins! The Orator’s words are what make us possible. Without him, we are mere memories in the boy’s mind!!”
“Oh my grunge, the Orator, the Orator, THE ORATOR!” The bad guy was kneeling with head on the ground and hands reaching forward.
Gogan considered raising his sword and cho… chopping dead weeds in the garden.
“Hey, I read that!” The bad guy also raised his sword to cho… choose which vegetables he would cut into finger food.
“Finger food? How old are you? Do you need to go wee-wee’s?”


 “Daddy, stop. You are funny. I can sleep now.”

Too bad. I was going places with that story. Maybe tomorrow night.

My handsome rolled over to the wall and fell asleep. Seriously, he actually did! No more nightmares. I wonder what he’ll dream of now…?

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Another Year Gone

The end of 2018.
Six weeks of school holidays.
With our 3yo and 6yo boys.
It’s only the second day and my sanity wants to scream.
“Stay out of the fridge!”
“Do not hit your brother!”
“What’s the magic word?”
“What made you think that was OK?”
The list of questions is endless.
… and inside that time is Xmas and NYE!
I love my kids …. but why did we ruin a perfectly good life this way??
In six weeks time Jai begins Grade 1 and Aidan begins Kindegarten, and I will be 50 years old.
The beginning of 2019.

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Parenting on a Saturday

I had plans for today.
But we have kids.

I have been awake since 7am,
out of bed since 8am.

Unshowered I have
negotiated backyard wars,
replanted vegetable dreams,
requested quietness and calm,
and dreamed of coffee.

Finally we are having breakfast.
home made pancakes.
The kids are calmed,
they’re playing nice.

Finally – Nirvana.

For now.