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R2D2 has Voice

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Parent’s Lament

To anyone who is a parent:

How many times must a child be told before they do as their told? 

And how many times will a child say “No!” before their dinner goes cold?
How many times will I ask them to tidy up their toys before I give them* away?

And how long will it take for them to understand that life isn’t all sleep and play?
How many times will a parent say “No.” and explain the rules yet again?

The answer, my family and friends, is … oh heck, too many times.
* the toys, not the boys!

PS. Did you read it to the tune of “Blowin’ in the Wind by Bob Dylan”?

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The Trouble with Games

The funnestestest game of all.


“Daddy, can I have that game? I will give you a cuddle if you do!”

‘That game’ was moved to the highest point of my bookshelf a few days ago after an unfortunate mistake by him resulted in an little boy getting very angry with his parents for not playing his way.

“What answer did I give you the last twenty billion times you asked?” 

Long pause.

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

Sigh. This is getting ridiculous. Yes, I really should put it out right out of sight and out of his mind. He is starting to drive me out of my mind! 

“What do you think my answer will be?” (#facepalm. That was a dumb question.)

“YES!”

“You are about to be very disappointed.”

“Dis…dissa…poin…ted?”

“Very sad.”

“Awwww!”

(30 seconds later)

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

“Nope.” 

By this time, I am typing this post whilst responding to him. Lots of copy, paste, paste, paste, ad infinitum…

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

“Nope.” 

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

“Nope.” 

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

“Nope.” 

“Daddy, can I have that game?”

“Nope.” 

I, seriously, could go on. Wait, he’s changed the question. 

“Daddy, could you lift me about this high?” Raises hand, I perceive he has it in line with his eyes and top of shelf. Sigh. Going to draw his bluff, yet fool him. 

I wil let you know how ‘this game’ turns out. Cute kid is now cuddling me from behind. Still not getting the game. At least not right now.


Parents will testify. What would you have done?

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Santa’s Surcharge 

Embryos, Galaxies and Sentient Beings: How the Universe Makes LifeJai enjoyed his first Xmas. Now that his command and understanding of the world has become much more sentient, he wants Xmas every day. #facepalm

Every morning I am asked to pretend to be Santa Claus. This morning I changed the incoming response.

{In a husky deep voice}

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Xmas! … oh, I am at Jai’s house again! Young man, I have work to do at the North Pole. You can’t channel me on a whim. My callout fee between January and September will empty your piggy bank! So, whatever you need, go ask your mum!

Dad’s worldwide might want to #highfive me now. But I suspect Santa will be requested again tomorrow. #headsmack

Save

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In Memoriam 

Jai received this movie as an early Xmas present last week for being so good one morning.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1998) 

We’ve watched it together six times since! 

Even though he has watched it so many times, he still has a little cry when Rudolph runs away because he is teased for having a red nose.

Interesting fact: The voice of Mrs Claus is the late Debbie Reynolds

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One

Gotta laugh and be impressed by the ingenuity of Jai, now 4.5yo.

Yesterday he caught five seconds of a trailer for ‘Star Wars Rogue One’ on my laptop. He loved it!

As I turned it on this morning I heard this voice at my feet say “I Want to see that movie I saw yesterday!”

“Hmmm. If your mother says yes, OK.”

He sprints for the bedroom.

I hear him ask “Mummy, can I watch that movie?”, but not the response.

He sprints back to me.

“Mummy said yes.”

“Oh, did she?” I see Sarah down the corridor “… Mummy said you could watch the movie? Did you get a hand-shake contract?”

“A what?”

“A hand shake contract. Repeat after me, hand shake contract. You are going to need it!”

“Ok!” He sprints down the corridor again, and I hear most of the conversation. I see him shake hands with his mother!

“Big mistake Mummy. Did you ask which movie he wants to see?”

“Um, no.” We were speaking down the corridor, unable to see each other, but I know she is not smiling.

“And now he has a contract. Binding in a family court of law. I watched the transaction. ROGUE ONE FOR EVERY ONE!”

“Oh, no. Nope, not gonna happen.”

Sigh. Poor little fellow. His first business transaction. Thankfully billionaires of the planet say that failure is important to succeed.

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