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Parenting Tips for Talking

Trivial Pursuit Doctor Who Now that 2yo Aidan no longer has a dummy/pacifier, his English skills are improving every day.

Jai (weeks away from 5yo) likes to test his English.

“LIFE IS NOT PERFECT!” is yelled from the toy room. Learned probably from me.

A smaller voice mimics “Mi’ is no berfect!”

But that’s nothing.

Whilst I was ‘otherwise indisposed‘ early today, a small hand knocked on the door and the question was asked “Where are you Daddy?”

“Buddy, dude, I am busy.”

“Why?” Oh dear, it has begun.

“I don’t wear nappies…” Is two too young to teach about the toilet?

“Why?” Still outside the door.

“Because society frowns upon wearing poopie pants in corporate environments…” I paused and listened as he plodded back to the lounge room.

Always employ big words when you don’t really want to be disturbed.

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One

Gotta laugh and be impressed by the ingenuity of Jai, now 4.5yo.

Yesterday he caught five seconds of a trailer for ‘Star Wars Rogue One’ on my laptop. He loved it!

As I turned it on this morning I heard this voice at my feet say “I Want to see that movie I saw yesterday!”

“Hmmm. If your mother says yes, OK.”

He sprints for the bedroom.

I hear him ask “Mummy, can I watch that movie?”, but not the response.

He sprints back to me.

“Mummy said yes.”

“Oh, did she?” I see Sarah down the corridor “… Mummy said you could watch the movie? Did you get a hand-shake contract?”

“A what?”

“A hand shake contract. Repeat after me, hand shake contract. You are going to need it!”

“Ok!” He sprints down the corridor again, and I hear most of the conversation. I see him shake hands with his mother!

“Big mistake Mummy. Did you ask which movie he wants to see?”

“Um, no.” We were speaking down the corridor, unable to see each other, but I know she is not smiling.

“And now he has a contract. Binding in a family court of law. I watched the transaction. ROGUE ONE FOR EVERY ONE!”

“Oh, no. Nope, not gonna happen.”

Sigh. Poor little fellow. His first business transaction. Thankfully billionaires of the planet say that failure is important to succeed.

O'Reilly Books

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Xmas on Twitter

My boys get mentioned on Twitter a lot, mostly in jest, occasionally in exasperation, yet mostly because of their hilarious antics.

Here are all their Xmas moments throughout December 2016:

Sigh. I am sure there will be more before NYE. Watch out for them on my twitter.

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Mummy had a Girl’s Night Out

Jai ‘wrote’ a letter for his mummy whilst she had a girl’s night out:

“Dear Mummy,

You let Daddy and me go home on the train without you. Initially I kept asking where were you … but I forgot you existed once Daddy had me on the elevator down into the North Terrace Station! Daddy was smart to have me in the ERGO back pack … I was pointing and asking what everything was, including the man in the dark blue suit and hat. He smiled at me!

Wow, then we got on the train! Dad was smart to take a later train.  I jumped from seat to seat, I laughed and whooped so much! Luckily Daddy had chocolate or I would not have been stoppable.

Sigh. Finally we got home. I have been in the bath since 8pm. Daddy has cleaned up the house as much as possible. Daddy? Daddy, I am going wrinkly!

Mummy, I may be asleep when you get home.

Have fun with your friends, but don’t forget there is a little human growing inside you.

Good night.”

One hour later: He is asleep now. We read a LOT of books. I am sure his dreams tonight will be interesting!

3 hours later: Mummy finally got home at 11pm. Appears sober … of course she is!!


I originally wrote and published this on Facebook on 19 December 2014 at 8pm.

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A Beautiful View on Kangaroo Island 

Aliens Love Panta Claus I’ve started daily vlogs of our new life on Kangaroo Island.

The most important footage I will show is the ambience, serenity and positive impact the local community and environment has on the upbringing of my young children.

Jai and Aidan will experience country life, quieter days, and the beauty of nature.

Yesterday my 4yo son Jai and I walked along the beach towards Reeves Point.


The plan is to incorporate moments from my wife’s honey business – LSBeez Honey & Queen Bee Breeding – showing the progress as it grows over the next few years. 

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Six Parenting Lessons

Five lessons learned from Jai in one morning:

Don't Sweat the Small Baby Stuff

Whoever said this never encountered a lost pacifier at naptime!

1. When he hands you one end of a skipping rope, put it to your ear. Because he wants to talk to you.

2. If you can see one yoghurt blob on the floor, there will be more.

3. Kids also cry when they are happy. Yes, astonishing – yet beautiful. Sometimes it is a ruse to get me to hug him – which I like!

4. His vocabulary is awesome. They know and use the words ‘beautiful, hangry and mummy’ regularly. Sometimes in the same sentence.

5. Never assume they are not listening. Never think they don’t understand. They will use your words against you as soon as possible. I am currently in the naughty corner. Thankfully I get to hold my phone. Oh dear, this may set a precedent. Putting down the phone now…

Postscript:
Kids need everything explained to them. Don’t fob them off with an excuse. Jai now understands that CDs and DVDs are engraved plastic with information preserved in them. If that surface gets damaged, the information leaks out. So now he won’t take them out of the cover and carry them round in a shopping bag. Sigh.

PPS. The image links to our new GoFundMe campaign. Please take a moment to take a look.

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