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Another Year Gone

The end of 2018.
Six weeks of school holidays.
With our 3yo and 6yo boys.
It’s only the second day and my sanity wants to scream.
“Stay out of the fridge!”
“Do not hit your brother!”
“What’s the magic word?”
“What made you think that was OK?”
The list of questions is endless.
… and inside that time is Xmas and NYE!
I love my kids …. but why did we ruin a perfectly good life this way??
In six weeks time Jai begins Grade 1 and Aidan begins Kindegarten, and I will be 50 years old.
The beginning of 2019.

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Parenting on a Saturday

I had plans for today.
But we have kids.

I have been awake since 7am,
out of bed since 8am.

Unshowered I have
negotiated backyard wars,
replanted vegetable dreams,
requested quietness and calm,
and dreamed of coffee.

Finally we are having breakfast.
home made pancakes.
The kids are calmed,
they’re playing nice.

Finally – Nirvana.

For now.

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Parenting Tips for Talking

Trivial Pursuit Doctor Who Now that 2yo Aidan no longer has a dummy/pacifier, his English skills are improving every day.

Jai (weeks away from 5yo) likes to test his English.

“LIFE IS NOT PERFECT!” is yelled from the toy room. Learned probably from me.

A smaller voice mimics “Mi’ is no berfect!”

But that’s nothing.

Whilst I was ‘otherwise indisposed‘ early today, a small hand knocked on the door and the question was asked “Where are you Daddy?”

“Buddy, dude, I am busy.”

“Why?” Oh dear, it has begun.

“I don’t wear nappies…” Is two too young to teach about the toilet?

“Why?” Still outside the door.

“Because society frowns upon wearing poopie pants in corporate environments…” I paused and listened as he plodded back to the lounge room.

Always employ big words when you don’t really want to be disturbed.

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One

Gotta laugh and be impressed by the ingenuity of Jai, now 4.5yo.

Yesterday he caught five seconds of a trailer for ‘Star Wars Rogue One’ on my laptop. He loved it!

As I turned it on this morning I heard this voice at my feet say “I Want to see that movie I saw yesterday!”

“Hmmm. If your mother says yes, OK.”

He sprints for the bedroom.

I hear him ask “Mummy, can I watch that movie?”, but not the response.

He sprints back to me.

“Mummy said yes.”

“Oh, did she?” I see Sarah down the corridor “… Mummy said you could watch the movie? Did you get a hand-shake contract?”

“A what?”

“A hand shake contract. Repeat after me, hand shake contract. You are going to need it!”

“Ok!” He sprints down the corridor again, and I hear most of the conversation. I see him shake hands with his mother!

“Big mistake Mummy. Did you ask which movie he wants to see?”

“Um, no.” We were speaking down the corridor, unable to see each other, but I know she is not smiling.

“And now he has a contract. Binding in a family court of law. I watched the transaction. ROGUE ONE FOR EVERY ONE!”

“Oh, no. Nope, not gonna happen.”

Sigh. Poor little fellow. His first business transaction. Thankfully billionaires of the planet say that failure is important to succeed.

O'Reilly Books

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Xmas on Twitter

My boys get mentioned on Twitter a lot, mostly in jest, occasionally in exasperation, yet mostly because of their hilarious antics.

Here are all their Xmas moments throughout December 2016:

Sigh. I am sure there will be more before NYE. Watch out for them on my twitter.