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Santa’s Surcharge 

Embryos, Galaxies and Sentient Beings: How the Universe Makes LifeJai enjoyed his first Xmas. Now that his command and understanding of the world has become much more sentient, he wants Xmas every day. #facepalm

Every morning I am asked to pretend to be Santa Claus. This morning I changed the incoming response.

{In a husky deep voice}

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Xmas! … oh, I am at Jai’s house again! Young man, I have work to do at the North Pole. You can’t channel me on a whim. My callout fee between January and September will empty your piggy bank! So, whatever you need, go ask your mum!

Dad’s worldwide might want to #highfive me now. But I suspect Santa will be requested again tomorrow. #headsmack

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Backyard Ocean

A good afternoon indeed:

Kangaroo Island, South Australia Sitting on boogie-boards on the grass with Jai. He declared the grass is salt-water, that sharks are friendly and there’s been at least two tornados. He agrees we’ve been out to sea for about three years.

We rang for pizza on an imaginary phone. I said “Two years delivery or it’s free!” Considering how far we both are from dry land, we might be lucky.

We used these large Frisbees as hand sails, steering our boards across the grass, into a dessert island with a big shed on it. Aha, his imagination is amazing!

We visited the lady and little boy in the house, asking for bed and food.

Thankfully his mother played along. She had icy poles and the promise of ice-cream if we stayed for dinner. Jai asked if they had pizza. Nope, but they may have sausages. That appealed.

Aliens Love Underpants! I have been relegated to guarding our boards whilst he further investigates the island. I hear birds twittering in the bush-land and little else. I just hope we don’t spot Aliens or Dinosaurs in underpants. 

Hoping a rescue mission finds us soon. We have been doing this game for almost three hours. Send help or pizza!

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In Memoriam 

Jai received this movie as an early Xmas present last week for being so good one morning.

Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (1998) 

We’ve watched it together six times since! 

Even though he has watched it so many times, he still has a little cry when Rudolph runs away because he is teased for having a red nose.

Interesting fact: The voice of Mrs Claus is the late Debbie Reynolds

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One

Gotta laugh and be impressed by the ingenuity of Jai, now 4.5yo.

Yesterday he caught five seconds of a trailer for ‘Star Wars Rogue One’ on my laptop. He loved it!

As I turned it on this morning I heard this voice at my feet say “I Want to see that movie I saw yesterday!”

“Hmmm. If your mother says yes, OK.”

He sprints for the bedroom.

I hear him ask “Mummy, can I watch that movie?”, but not the response.

He sprints back to me.

“Mummy said yes.”

“Oh, did she?” I see Sarah down the corridor “… Mummy said you could watch the movie? Did you get a hand-shake contract?”

“A what?”

“A hand shake contract. Repeat after me, hand shake contract. You are going to need it!”

“Ok!” He sprints down the corridor again, and I hear most of the conversation. I see him shake hands with his mother!

“Big mistake Mummy. Did you ask which movie he wants to see?”

“Um, no.” We were speaking down the corridor, unable to see each other, but I know she is not smiling.

“And now he has a contract. Binding in a family court of law. I watched the transaction. ROGUE ONE FOR EVERY ONE!”

“Oh, no. Nope, not gonna happen.”

Sigh. Poor little fellow. His first business transaction. Thankfully billionaires of the planet say that failure is important to succeed.

O'Reilly Books

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Sugar High

Today Jai found this half filled lolly bag. I made the mistake of leaving it in plain view at my office desk. 

I found him with the contents in lines on top of his little dining table. I decided if he was daring, he could have them.

“Dude, they are pure sugar. Don’t eat them too fast.”

“Daddy …. adults shouldn’t eat these.” Oh, he’s had one already. 

Why not dude?”

“… because they are pure sugar.”

Yet he didn’t jump off the walls nor get hyperactive. Because we took him to a park to run around for thirty minutes! Whew.

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Scariest Spider Ever

The #Huntsmen #Spider (now about 8cm in diameter) in our dining room has walked, on the ceiling, around to the lounge room.

Jai: “I want to measure him with this… [the Xmas tree long box]”

Me: “No way dude! If it falls to the floor, I will jump on the lounge and squeel like a girl!”

Jai: “You’re funny Daddy.”

Me: “Sigh. I won’t look funny.” [Looking up, I see two spider legs pointing down.] “Okay, it’s time to run…”

Jai: “So funny!”

I am glad to be a funny Daddy. But I hate spiders!