The end of 2018.
Six weeks of school holidays.
With our 3yo and 6yo boys.
It’s only the second day and my sanity wants to scream.
“Stay out of the fridge!”
“Do not hit your brother!”
“What’s the magic word?”
“What made you think that was OK?”
The list of questions is endless.
… and inside that time is Xmas and NYE!
I love my kids …. but why did we ruin a perfectly good life this way??
In six weeks time Jai begins Grade 1 and Aidan begins Kindegarten, and I will be 50 years old.
The beginning of 2019.
Not all conversations with #MisterFourGoingOnFourteen are intelligent, smart, funny or entertaining. So it is with disdain that I share these two stories. Yet I hope another Daddy can learn from it. Or at least empathize.
Daddy: “My new crutch. Please may I have it back?” It’s for my current yet ongoing knee problems.
Jai: “Nope”. He walks around with it, wielding it like a sabre.
Daddy: “Please don’t point that at people, particularly mummy and daddy!”
Jai ignores me. I hobble around the house, trying to catch up with him. I can walk, but not for long. My right knee hurts like hell.
Daddy: “Please do NOT hit the windows. Don’t hit your brother. Don’t hit the back of my legs. PLEASE do NOT do that again!”
Jai looks at me, then looks away – and taps his brother on the shoulder. No pain, but scares Aidan. He toddles off to find mummy. Smart kid, he leaves the scene of the crime.
Daddy: “Ok, that’s IT! Time-Out for You!” I reach frantically for boy, but fumble on his shirt.
Jai dumps crutch and runs. I pick it up, and resume walking better. Jai gets away with it this time, but not for long…
Jai (moments after I regain control with arm-crutch): “I want Shaun the Sheep!”
Daddy: “You have to clean the messy lounge room first.”
Jai: “It’s a mess?”
Daddy: “Yes. Your toys do NOT belong on the floor. You know where they belong.”
Jai: “I don’t see it.” Sigh. Plays skip-rope with mummy’s tape-measure.
Daddy: Sigh. “Take another look. Tell me what you see.”
Jai: “Trucks! Animals! Balloons! Books!”
Daddy: “Good. I will clean up Aidan’s, you do yours, we will meet in the middle.”
Jai: “The where?”
Daddy: “Start cleaning up. I’ll tell you when we get there.”
Jai: Intrigued now. “OK.”
Oh my days, he actually cleaned up.
Daddy: “High five dude!”
Jai raises hands and wipes Pluto into the next galaxy. Oh my hand.
It’s fun, but only after he starts listening – and realises there is a reward for his effort.