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Parent’s Lament

To anyone who is a parent:

How many times must a child be told before they do as their told? 

And how many times will a child say “No!” before their dinner goes cold?
How many times will I ask them to tidy up their toys before I give them* away?

And how long will it take for them to understand that life isn’t all sleep and play?
How many times will a parent say “No.” and explain the rules yet again?

The answer, my family and friends, is … oh heck, too many times.
* the toys, not the boys!

PS. Did you read it to the tune of “Blowin’ in the Wind by Bob Dylan”?

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Gotta laugh and be impressed by the ingenuity of Jai, now 4.5yo.

Yesterday he caught five seconds of a trailer for ‘Star Wars Rogue One’ on my laptop. He loved it!

As I turned it on this morning I heard this voice at my feet say “I Want to see that movie I saw yesterday!”

“Hmmm. If your mother says yes, OK.”

He sprints for the bedroom.

I hear him ask “Mummy, can I watch that movie?”, but not the response.

He sprints back to me.

“Mummy said yes.”

“Oh, did she?” I see Sarah down the corridor “… Mummy said you could watch the movie? Did you get a hand-shake contract?”

“A what?”

“A hand shake contract. Repeat after me, hand shake contract. You are going to need it!”

“Ok!” He sprints down the corridor again, and I hear most of the conversation. I see him shake hands with his mother!

“Big mistake Mummy. Did you ask which movie he wants to see?”

“Um, no.” We were speaking down the corridor, unable to see each other, but I know she is not smiling.

“And now he has a contract. Binding in a family court of law. I watched the transaction. ROGUE ONE FOR EVERY ONE!”

“Oh, no. Nope, not gonna happen.”

Sigh. Poor little fellow. His first business transaction. Thankfully billionaires of the planet say that failure is important to succeed.

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 Day 1 as SAHD

My first official day as a SAHD – A Stay At Home Dad – whilst my wife and MIL went out and repotted bees from nucs to hives.

Shaun the Sheep: Series 2 What did I and the boys do?

  1. DVD complete series of Shaun the Sheep. Twice.
  2. Lot of tickling, giggling & cuddles from both boys.
  3. Aidan learnt to jump 30cm – from a step-stool to the floor.
  4. My knee is almost worse than before I damaged it.
  5. Bitten once. Aidan was clearly frustrated and missing his mum.

Sigh. But I know I can handle it.

What doesn’t kill me will surely make me stronger. Right? Please tell me it’s true?!